Men's Mental Health - Stephanie Boyle
Hey, I’m Steph. You may straight away think, Steph – isn’t that a girl’s name? Why is a woman so hell-bent on fighting for men’s mental health? Well here goes:
I met a guy in 2013. We met at work. From the moment I met him I realised my life was going to be all the sweeter for having met him. He had this way of making not only me but everyone, feel happy every day. It’s a cliché but he lit up the room the second he walked in. So much so we nicknamed him our Little Ray of Sunshine in the office. He shared the funniest stories, always noticed if we were down or not ourselves – there was no hiding emotion from Ant. As time went on he became family. I couldn’t run an event without him. He was my lifeline, my safety blanket at work. He made everything better. He was always so happy. And when he wasn’t happy he was hilarious about it. He was paranoid but funny and it became part of his quirky character. The work nights out became the best nights of my life. We watched him get married. He was about to become a daddy.
Then he decided to remove himself from our lives. From everyone’s life…for good.
12am, Saturday 10th August 2019: Anthony shouted at me from the corner of the street to stay out and not go home. I giggled and blew him a kiss and said see you Monday, before I made my way home, knowing he was in it for the long haul. I had no idea the decision he had already made and that I wouldn’t get to see my Little Ray of Sunshine again.
No one saw it coming. No one knew he wasn’t ok. He never spoke about it. Did Ant even know who to speak to or where to go for help when things went dark for him?
I always knew men didn’t talk much. The men in my life certainly don’t. They bottle it up. They carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Me? I’m female. I suffer from anxiety and depression. But guess what, society makes it so easy for me to talk. To let it out. I knew where to go and who to turn to when life got too much, when I thought about what it would be like to duck out. It was easy for me to break down on my best friend. To sit in front of my Doctor and pour my heart out. I mean I’m female, the world is used to watching us cry, protecting us and recognising that we are emotional beings who are often fragile. But what about MEN!!!
I’m so sorry it took me to lose a male friend to really understand how much work needs to be done for men’s mental health.
I want the men in my life to feel like they can talk, that they know who to go to if things get hard, confusing or lonely.
I want my son to grow up in a world where if he can’t speak to mum or dad then he damn well knows where he can and the steps he can take to put his mental health first.
The world need’s our Men, our Little Rays.
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