I hope you are well and have enjoyed some of the easing of lockdown that came into effect this weekend – maybe you have been for a long overdue haircut, meal out or trip to the pub.
Today we’re providing some information on Men’s Mental Health. Despite increased mental health awareness over the last few years, the Mental Health Foundation and the Samaritans say men are three times more likely to die from suicide than woman in the UK, with men accounting for three-quarters of UK deaths by suicide in 2018.
The Mental Health Foundation also reports that in England, around 1 in 8 men have a common mental health problem. However, men may be reluctant to seek support for their mental health or disclose mental health problems to loved ones. While many of the same difficulties are experienced by anyone with a mental health problem, some difficulties and influences on mental health may be especially relevant for men.
I’m sure you’ll agree that these statistics are quite shocking, that being said I want to highlight that the information being shared today isn’t just for men. It’s for anyone who may be suffering with poor mental health or is interested in learning more about mental health. It’s also helpful for everyone to be more aware of mental health issues and may support people who’s loved ones are suffering.
I thought it would be useful for you to hear from someone who knows much more about this than I. So, here is Andy Hall, Mentor Relationship Specialist Business Growth Hub, on his experience with Men’s Mental Health.
Kind regards,
Vicky Barton
Director of HR and Organisational Development
Men's Mental Health in the Workplace
I'm certainly not an expert on Men's Mental Health. Very few people actually are. There is still very little scientific evidence that men have worse mental health than any other gender. However, statistically, men are more likely to end their own life because of poor mental health.
I do feel, though, that I am an expert on MY mental health. Being a man, having facilitated male suicide prevention talking groups, been a panellist and delivered many talks including a TEDx on this topic, I guess that people value my perspective.
It's not news that we can all have poor mental health, irrespective of our gender. However, it's fairly obvious that we are all wired differently, with individual DNA, varying levels of hormones and therefore, the role of neurotransmitters are generally different for men and women. I do believe that men haven't adapted so well over time, socially and in the environment we now find ourselves in. Our fathers probably felt the same.
Many say that men don't talk about their feelings. In my opinion, this is an over-simplification of men. Most of us are sensitive. My observations are that us men often ignore our feelings and don't know how to express them. And worse, are not permitted to express them without being judged by others and ourselves.
Modern sedentary jobs, with complex hierarchies, ever-changing expectations of success have left me, and others, feeling uncertain, mentally drained and unbalanced. Therefore, in times of stress we work even harder than ever before and isolate ourselves without considering the mental intensity and drain on our energy. General anxiety builds, depressive episodes go unaddressed and so on.
Whilst I don't have the answers, I do have experience of what has worked for my friends and myself. My first (of a few) breakdowns occurred as a result of overworking, not sleeping enough, not exercising enough, isolating myself and generally ignoring the signs that I wasn't mentally well.
At a particularly low point of my life, caused by a (another) lengthy period of overworking, I attended a talking group called AndysManClub. Walking through the doors for the first time was one of the hardest things I've ever done. However, during the first session, I felt much better. I learned more about myself and I enjoyed listening to and helping others. I went back each week and began to facilitate the group which involved allowing individuals to talk, share their feelings and find solutions to their problems without judgement from anyone in the group. Although I no longer attend, I have gained new lifelong, like-minded friends. We continue to support each other. Many of us have moved on after finding new ways of managing ourselves.
To raise awareness of the charity I agreed to run a half-marathon for the first time. This was a huge challenge for me as I hadn't run properly for many years. What started as an alcohol-induced bravado became another turning point in my life.
Burning adrenaline is an instant relief from anxiety and keeps low mood away. Team activities and sports combine exercise and social connectivity. Gym and solo pursuits are great for periods of reflection when we go into our cave. Meditation and gratitude can be performed in many ways.
Talking allows us to develop the ability to express our emotions. Better still, listening to others takes our focus from our self to another, as they say… a problem shared is a problem halved.
If I were to summarise my advice to other male colleagues struggling with their own mental health, it would be:
- Take ownership of your own life, observe your thoughts and feelings, recognise when you are unwell and do something about it.
- Find the triggers and do something about it.
- Try many techniques and find what works for you.
- Develop a routine that works for you.
- Take back control of your career and future. You don't have to change your job to feel better, you can change how and when you work. Make sure though that you see the value of your work and it aligns with your purpose and values.
- Be open to change and accept the support of others.
- Look after your health; physical, mental and emotional health are intrinsically part of who you are.
Remember that having mental ill health doesn't define you and/or last for the rest of your life. It can pass and often does pass. Be kind to yourself and others! "It's alright mate, let's talk about it".
My advice for someone supporting a loved one is to try to create an environment of openness about expressing how they are feeling:
- This means allowing the other person to speak without judging, interrupting, offering solutions. Ask open questions like “how do/did you feel?” and “can I help?”
- Be involved in a new routine if necessary.
- Identify and agree what the triggers a negative mood so they can be observed or avoided.
I wore a wristband, green on one side and red on the other. It was my way of speaking in code so that our children were not affected. When I was feeling OK I wouldn’t wear it. I wore it showing green when I didn’t feel so good but in control and red when I was in an especially bad place. This meant give me a hug, I could do with a brew or give me space and don’t ask me challenging questions. Different things will work for different people but talking always helps.
Andy Hall
Mentor Relationship Specialist, Business Growth Hub