Wellbeing Wednesday – feeling lonely

  • 25/11/2020
  • Vicky Barton

Unsurprisingly, one of the feelings millions of us are experiencing during the current coronavirus pandemic is loneliness. In our combined efforts to stay safe and save lives, our usual ways of seeing family, friends or just familiar faces have been put on pause so I wanted to share some information on how to try to manage these feelings that may be currently impacting you.

What causes feelings of loneliness and isolation?

Most of us feel lonely from time to time. Feelings of loneliness are personal, so everyone's experience of loneliness will be different, and loneliness is not always the same as being alone. You may choose to be alone and live happily without much contact with other people, while others may find this a lonely experience.

Loneliness has many different causes and it can affect people of all ages. It's often linked with things that could prevent you spending time with other people so lockdown is likely to impact on these feelings but also other significant life events such as bereavement, moving to a new area, having a baby or retirement can also lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

How lonely are we feeling?

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) research has seen levels of loneliness in the UK fluctuating during the pandemic to one in four adults experiencing loneliness (ranging from ‘sometimes to always or often lonely’).

In the week up to 1 November the measure of more acute loneliness - those "always or often" lonely - reached 8%, the highest it has been since the start of the pandemic and representing 4.2 million people. Before Covid-19 it was 5% - or about 2.6 million people. The ONS research also found that since lockdown, young people are almost three times more likely to have experienced loneliness.

How does loneliness affect our mental health?  

Many of us feel lonely from time to time and these short-term feelings shouldn’t harm our mental health. Long-term loneliness is associated with an increased risk of some mental health illnesses including depression, anxiety and increased stress. The impact of long-term loneliness on mental health can be very hard to manage so it’s important for us all to do our best to recognise and act on these feelings as much as we can to reduce the impact on our mental health and wellbeing.

What can we do to prevent loneliness? 

Due to the Covid-19 restrictions, we need to adapt how we connect with people and find new ways to stay in touch during this time. Keeping those strong social networks can act like a buffer against mental ill-health. You can stay connected using video calls and Whatsapp but if you’re not tech savvy or are suffering from Zoom fatigue then regular phone calls, messages or even writing letters are lovely ways to stay connected and show someone that you’re thinking of them.  

What can I do if I feel lonely?

  • Try calling a friend, family or colleague to talk about how you’re feeling, they may be able to offer support but sometimes just having someone listen to you can make you feel better.
  • Arrange a virtual lunch break or ‘coffee and natter’ video call with colleagues. It’s great to hear that some teams have been really creative whilst working remotely and have organised all sorts of fun and interactive team activities to stay connected.
  • Look after yourself;
    • Sleep - getting too little or too much sleep can have a big impact on how you feel.
    • Diet - eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels.
    • Physical activity - exercise can really help your mental wellbeing, and some people find it helps improve their self-esteem. You can join exercise classes online at home or consider going for short walks or bike rides for a change of scenery and some fresh air.
    • Animals - some people find spending time with animals can help with feelings of loneliness, whether that’s through owning a pet, sharing a pet, visiting a farm or watching them in their natural environment.
  • Access the professional support available through your GP, our Employee Assistance Programme (available to you and your immediate family 24/7 by calling the free confidential helpline 0800 030 5182 or visiting the online portal - username: Growth, Password: Company) , speaking to our Mental Health First Aiders or a counsellor.  
  • You could also contact Mind or Samaritans on their websites or call 116 123 if you need someone to talk to. 
  • We have recently added health and wellbeing courses to our learning and development calendar that you might find useful.

Helping others who might be experiencing loneliness 

Research has found that being kind is good for our mental health, so now could be a good opportunity to help someone else who might be feeling lonely. You could get in touch with someone who lives alone or might not have many relatives or close connections - a message or a phone call could make a big difference to someone who hasn’t heard from anyone in a while. If it’s a neighbour, you could even share something you’ve baked with them - at a safe distance! Or if you know someone who struggles with technology, you could talk them through setting up something like Skype or Zoom at home to help them be able to connect with people.

Stronger together - remember, no one is exempt from feeling lonely at times. However, some of us will have greater access to technology than others or more social connections. By caring for each other and checking in on people who are more isolated we can help prevent people feeling lonely.  

So, to those of you who feel alone, remember that there are people who are there for you even though it might just be in a virtual capacity for now. Please ask for help and don’t suffer in silence.

I’ve found that making sure I have some time away from the screen each day to go for a walk with my dog or speaking to a relative or friend helps me stay connected to others whilst working from home, so I encourage you all to make time each day to connect to others.

This is a challenging and sometimes lonely time, but it will pass. It’s good to hear that the current national lockdown restrictions will end on 2 December, and whilst we still don’t know what tier we will be in, it’s a step in the right direction. We’ll be back out there sharing pots of tea and enjoying hugs in the not so distant future but for now, let’s be as kind as possible to ourselves and others.