Today we’re looking at coping with change. According to the ancient philosopher Heraclitus, the only constant in life is change. That couldn’t be truer than in today’s fast-paced environment and the global pandemic has certainly accelerated the speed of change both at work and in our personal lives.
Sometimes change can be positive; a new house or job role. At other times it can be painful; unexpected change to your lifestyle, restructure in your team or a personal loss. Change comes in many forms but leaving behind what we know and are used to can be difficult, even if we've made the change ourselves.
Stages of reacting to change
Change can be difficult because it can challenge how we think, how we work, the quality of our relationships, and even our physical security or sense of identity. According to the Kubler-Ross Change Curve, we usually react to change in four stages:
- Shock and disorientation.
- Anger and other emotional responses.
- Acceptance and coming to terms with the "new normal."
- Commitment to moving forward.
But our progression through these stages is rarely simple or linear. We might get stuck in one stage or advance quickly but then regress. And there is often no clear-cut, decisive move from one stage to another. Shock can change to anger, for example, with no obvious break between the two.
How to cope with change
Often the hardest changes to understand and adjust to are the ones that are unexpected and out of our control, but you'll often find that your experience of them can be made better or worse depending on your reaction and your attitude, so here are my top five tips for dealing with change that I hope you will find useful:
- Help others – chances are you’re not the only one who feels uncomfortable with change. If you can take the focus away from your own situation and direct it toward someone else’s, it will help you cope. Speak to others (co-workers, friends or family) so you can discuss the situation. The process of helping others can help you to deal with the stress and adapt more quickly to change.
- Consider how much you can control – understanding how much (or little) you can change a situation that’s worrying you can help you put things into perspective. If the unwanted change is something that is within your control, take an active approach and deal with it. The Bupa interactive ‘worry tree’ may help you with this. Starting at the bottom, the tree asks you to reflect on the cause of your worry, and whether it’s something you can do anything about. It then suggests some helpful steps you could take, or ways that you could come to terms with it.
- Take action – there are generally two types of coping:
- Escape coping is a form of coping that involves changing our behaviour to try to avoid thinking or feeling things that are uncomfortable. For instance, avoiding speaking to someone because you do not want to have a difficult conversation with them. This is the least helpful type of coping in most circumstances.
- Active coping is a form of coping that allows us to tackle a problem head-on. This approach is healthier because you are addressing the stress, rather than avoiding it. Focusing on the problem, developing a plan of action and asking for advice are useful active strategies.
- Focus on your health and wellbeing – if you can learn to de-stress, then chances are you’ll be better at accepting change. Try to practice mindfulness and meditation or engage in other relaxing techniques as part of a regular routine. A healthy lifestyle can also improve your mental and physical wellbeing and overall affect how you feel about change in general. Focusing more on the positives can really help you to thrive too. While it can be disruptive and uncomfortable, there are benefits to change, like promoting the development of new skills and bolstering innovation. Change can be a chance to grow.
- Reach out for support – If you are finding it hard to adjust to changes or are not even sure where to start, it’s always best to seek support. Reach out to friends, family or colleagues or consider seeking professional help. Having the skills and support of a trusted therapist can make an immeasurable difference as you learn to replace your old ways of thinking about and responding to stress with more effective ones. As a reminder, Health Assured, our Employee Assistance Programme offers a free, confidential counselling service and a range of options to suit different communication preferences including telephone and email structured counselling sessions.
Ultimately the most important thing to do to cope with change is to acknowledge it. Recognising and accepting change is one of the first steps towards managing it. Stay positive (if you can), draw on your support networks and give yourselves time to adapt, you’ve got this.