To mark National Grief Awareness week (2-8 December), we wanted to provide you with some information which is intended to help you manage grief and support others who may be suffering a loss. It’s very hard to give advice on grief as people have very different experiences with different coping mechanisms and it’s doesn’t have a time span.
What is grief
Grief is a natural response to loss which can result in all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions. Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. Grief is most often associated with the death of a loved one, but there are other forms of loss that can cause grief, including but not limited to:
- Relationship breakups or divorce
- Health issues of yourself or others
- Loss of financial stability
- A miscarriage
- Loss of a job
- Retirement
- Death of a pet
- A loved one’s serious illness
Reactions and emotions
Grief affects us all in different ways. It can impact on our physical health as well as our mental health. Below are some of the main reactions to grief; people may experience all or just some and at different gradients, but they are all normal reactions to have:
- Sadness
- Guilt
- Anger
- Fear
- Shock and disbelief
- Nausea
- Weight loss of gain
- Insomnia
- Fatigue
How long does someone grieve for?
There is no set time someone will grieve for, this will depend on the circumstances, the individual and the support they are provided with. Some will feel better in weeks, some it takes years and most importantly it doesn’t always happen at the time of the event. It can also resurface which is normally triggered by life events.
What support can I get if I’m grieving?
Grief may make someone want to withdraw from others - you may want to try and manage this on your own. Whilst none of us are experts in managing grief, we are most likely to have at some experience of it and be able to pull on our experiences to support others. Remember, just because someone says they are ok or is smiling, doesn’t mean they are coping; behind those words and smiles they may need some support.
If you or someone you know is suffering with grief, here are some things you can do or help them to:
- Talk to people – friends, family or colleagues. Even if you don’t feel like talking just being around loved ones, or if you’re unable to be near them due to the restrictions in place hearing from them, can be the support you need.
- Draw on faith – if you follow a religion, spiritual activities that are important to you can often help.
- Acknowledge that people may feel awkward trying to comfort someone who is grieving – I think most of us have been nervous of saying the wrong thing or not saying enough when someone is grieving. Try to remember that if someone seems to be saying the wrong thing or are a little awkward, they are there or talking to you because they care about you and want to find the best way to support you.
- Talk to a therapist or grief counsellor – our mental health can be impacted so if you feel the grief becomes too much to bear, you can seek the support of experienced therapists. Your doctor should be able to provide you with details of local therapists. Our Employee Assistance Programme is also available to you and your immediate family 24/7. You can contact them for give free, confidential advice on a range of issues by calling 0800 030 5182 or visit the health portal (username: Growth, password: Company).
- Mental Health First Aiders (MHFA) – if you want to talk we also have MHFA across the group who are practically trained to give support at a time of crisis or act as a point of contact, reassurance and guidance to you.
- Mental health courses - we have recently added health and wellbeing courses to our learning and development calendar that you might find useful.
This communication was not designed to tell you how to manage your grief, we wanted to cover this as a topic to try and provide you with a little more information around the subject that may help you or others. Whilst grief can affect us at any time, I’m sure many will have experienced this in some form during the pandemic.
If you are experiencing grief, please talk to your manager or if you feel more comfortable a HR Business Partner or SMT member in confidence so that we can look at what support we can provide for you. If you are a manager, there is guidance on the management portal to help you support your colleagues with grief.